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But in the beginning, be content to be on the outside looking in.A single parent is a parent that parents alone without the other parent's support, meaning this particular parent, male or female, is the only parent to the child, responsible for all financial, material, and emotional needs.To go yet another step forward and even consider a new relationship seems like a risk too great and too self absorbed to indulge in.These fears are difficult to overcome for some single dads.He has come to the understanding that in order to help his children live fulfilling lives, he has to put aside his bullshit and get down to the business of partnering with his former spouse for the betterment of all.This means letting perceived slights go, finding energy to be kind, choosing paths that are collectively helpful and making service to his little ones a central part of his life.And that co-parenting space is often where single co-parenting dads focus the bulk of their energies.They are fiercely committed to their little ones saying, by action and by word, “you are loved.”I was once one of them. What I was seeking (and found) in a spouse was informed by what I experienced in part, in the co-parenting world.
As more and more fathers take a hands on role in day to day parenting, they are committing to continuing parenting even after divorce.
At this very moment, I know three single co-parenting dads. I see their fierce loyalty and love for their children. They are not easy to sum up, having come though a baptism of change and growth.
If you want to have a cup of coffee with a single dad like these, bring an open heart and get ready to meet a complex and deeply interesting human being.
After creating these new, safe, predictable spaces in which their kids can navigate the changes of divorce, dads may be very hesitant to meet their own needs socially or sexually. This is because they fear disrupting these safe spaces and rhythms in any way.2) Remember, these dads are already carrying the burden of their choice to divorce, a decision which many may have already told him is a “selfish” act.
The shaming around divorce in our culture is epidemic.